Up To My Old Tricks Again

Well I took the past two nights off from my blog.  My parents were in town and we had a good time.  It is nice to see them.  They were trying to talk me into moving to Florida.  I have no desire to go there.  I asked the waitress out at Olive Garden and she took my number.  I doubt she will call, but it was a big move in my development.

     In terms of poker I have not played much over the past few days my bankroll is $281.  My goals are going to be harder to achieve due to Pokerstars canceling the double or nothings.  I will try to satellite into the main event online.  Hopefully I have sold 100 shares before it comes to that.

     I have a new game I play with bill collectors.  My brother Jeffry the mentally challenged side  kick has run its course.  If the bill collector that calls is a female  I will start taking some batting practice in a highly inappropriate  fashion.  I ask them what they are wearing and if they would like to go out for drinks with me.  Hell I still owe Columbia House money.
If a male calls I do this number.  I tell them I have a big bottle of rum a bottle of xanax and a loaded revolver.  I say things like their is no hope and no one will miss me when I am gone.   Then i put the phone on speaker don't talk for a few seconds and cue up a gun shot sound from my computer.

     Well I tried dating on the square and this be myself nonsense.  I came up with a new technique which is based on the premise of Jesus saves, but Bernie scores on the rebound.  What you will need is a computer and two cell phones.  First you must create a fake email account.  After that you open a fake OK Cupid account.  Now you go on Ok Cupid and build a profile you want to create a guy who is in a league to catch the girls you are chasing.  I have created a guy who is 5'11" 180 pounds.  He is a project manager and he has traveled the world.  He is a social drinker and he is Athletic and Jewish.  He drinks socially and is a non smoker.   I also post pictures of him doing cool things and in exotic places.  The best way to do this to go to  an east coast city and take a really cool match.com profile and basically cut and paste every thing.  His name in this scheme will be Seth Jacobs.

     Now this is where the second phone comes in.   What you do is sit back an wait for the reply to come in.  When you get a response from a girl you might like you converse with her and ask her if she would like to text.  The next step is set up a meeting at a bar that does not do that much business.  You go to that bar and wait for her to sit down and then your fake guy texts her he can not make it.  You then approach her and then offer to buy her a drink.  Bam you got your sit down and she is feeling rejected.  Its now up to you and what ever social skills you have left in the tank.